Highlight Reels vs. Highlight the Real 🎥

It’s such a temptation: We read a social media post about someone else’s vacation, and we think:

Must be nice.
How can they afford that? Didn’t they just get a new car?
I wish my husband would plan something like that for us.

Comparison. It truly is the thief of joy.

We all know this voice: it whispers to us that they have it better; easier; freer. They’re healthier; richer; happier. In contrasting me vs. them, I always seem to come up short.

This type of thinking leaves us feeling defeated, resentful, and discontented. It steals our joy and it hijacks our thoughts. We become disenchanted with the life we have built.

We must remember this very important truth: What you’re seeing is carefully curated. It’s the Instagram post—not the messy day-to-day reality. 📲

What I bet they didn’t show in their vacation photos highlight reel is the toddler throwing a tantrum in the middle of Magic Kingdom. Or the stress over finances. Or the arguing in the car. Or the picture that was retaken three times because “my double chin is showing.”

We usually save those moments for behind closed doors. 🚪

Just remember: like a first date, social media posts are usually representing our best foot forward. They’re not the full picture. They are rarely showing us at our most tired, most reactive, and most grumpy moments. Remember that you’re only seeing a shell of what’s really going on. At the very least, you’re only seeing what they have decided they want to let you in on.

Know this: your envy points you to what you want. It points you to what matters to you, to your ideals, to what you admire. Let it be an opportunity to encourage you, to open your eyes to possibilities, to name what you value. Let it reveal your own longing.

Let it be an opportunity to be relentlessly kind to yourself, to name your own gifts and strengths. Let it inspire you to pursue what you want for your own life.

This allows us to see the goodness that others are displaying, and cheer them on. It’s a generous, kind, confident posture.And it allows us to ask: What is great about my life, now? What tools do I have at my disposal? What is the gift here?  ✨

A few years ago, I adopted the practice of accepting photos taken of me, flaws and all, without critiquing them and without requiring a retake. I still look at them and my attention immediately goes to what I don’t like about my face or body in the photo. But I consciously redirect my attention to the occasion for which we took the photo.

My niece’s graduation. 🎓
A snapshot of the cousins at Christmas. 🎄
Mother’s Day, and all of my kids are home. 👩👦👦

And my joy returns. No comparison! No discontent! No self-flagellation! Suddenly, the double chin isn’t so important.

When we assume others have it easier, luckier, or better, we’re only causing our own suffering. It constructs a wall between us and them, breeding resentment and halting our growth. We cannot move forward into the life we long for while simultaneously resenting others for the life they’ve created. In doing so, we lose sight of what is truly important.

The truth is, comparison will always come knocking. Social media isn’t going away. But we don’t have to answer the door. 🚪

When we pause and notice the stories we’re telling ourselves, we create space to choose a better one. Instead of “They have it easier,” we can say, “They’re celebrating something good, and I can too.”

So the next time envy rises up, let it be a gentle nudge:

-To name what you long for.
-To celebrate what is already here.
-To remember that everyone's highlight reel includes a blooper reel that was left on the cutting room floor.

That’s how we trade comparison for contentment — not by ignoring the longing, but by letting it point the way back to gratitude, clarity, and joy, to the things that matter most to you. 🌱

#MindsetMatters #PersonalGrowth #EmotionalIntelligence #SelfCompassion #Contentment #perennialcoachingservices